Acceptance

Chris and I stayed up until about 4am. I kicked his butt at Exploding Kittens. The bottle of Moscato I picked out was really good. Silly us, we didn't have a corkscrew! Luckily my grandparents did. Shows how often we drink. We stayed cuddled up in bed until around lunchtime, and then got up and ran out to the store for a few supplies.

I made pollo guisado today! We decided that would be our New Year tradition. It got pretty good. Chris demolished his plate of food. I didn't really make any resolutions per say this year. New Year's resolutions can be a great way/starting point for major life changes, but at this point I don't have anything drastic I need to work on every day of the year except being happy, and trying to serve the happiness of my life, home, and relationships as best as I can. I mean sure, I could resolve to lose weight or something cliche like that, but I think that's best done in lifestyle changes, and I'm fighting an uphill battle with steroids on that one. So, I guess at the end of all this blabbering, I just resolve to do the best I can at living as long and well as I can.

Doctor's Orders

I went out to Philly last week to get an musculoskeletal ultrasound done on my hands. They're the only place in the country really that does it so far. It can be even more detailed than an MRI for some things. They found a lot thickening of my joint linings in my hands, but luckily no bone damage.

I'm back to trying to get off steroids again, and paying the price dearly as usual. Steroids are an interesting thing. They can vastly mask the symptoms of a great number of things; making you feel pretty okay. Even if you're very much not. When you're on steroids for a long period though your adrenal glands stop making steroids of their own. Tapering off steroids can make your body literally go into withdrawal if your adrenals don't 'wake up' quick enough. You get sweaty, nauseous. It's pretty much a 24/7 fight or flight response. Put that on top of whatever symptoms of your disease the steroids have been covering up.

I've been on steroids for so long, it's debatable if my adrenals will wake up. So slow and steady is the key, which is hard when all you really want to do is get it over with.

Why stop something that has such great benefits and such crappy symptoms to stopping? Artificial steroids are bad for you. The amount of steroids your body needs is far from an exact science, and changes throughout the day. An excessive amount of steroids in your system causes all types of crappy side effects. Major weight gain, bone thinning, organ damage just to name a few.