Surviving

It's been a rough couple of days here. Work has been busy for Chris. Finances are tight as the animals needed a ton of items replenished this week. I saved about 50$ with coupons though which helped. My immune system is up to no good. I've been noticing small things the past week or so layering on top of my recent extreme fatigue. Missing when I go to grab things, frequent stumbling, mixing up words, dropping things. While it's sparse and barely noticeable to anyone else, it all stands out like an emergency siren to me. Symptoms of my MS are generally rarer anymore unless there's a trigger like heat, and they've been increasing in frequency and severity all of the sudden. Last night when we went to the store I developed a bad tremor in my left hand while pushing the cart, and I stumbled about six times. Then I later developed spasticity in my right hip and it has yet to give me relief. I'm struggling with stairs, and limping when I walk. I'm hoping with some rest it will all calm down, but it's starting to look like it's adding up to a relapse. If it continues to get worse in severity I'll need to go see my neurologist and get on a solumedrol drip before I lose my ability to walk all together. As much as I hate solumedrol, I enjoy walking. I'm trying really hard to be optimistic that it's just a passing exacerbation from stress or whatever, but as the frequency and severity builds I'm soon going to have to be a realist.

Fasting Fail

By the time Chris got home from work last night I fell asleep. Not surprised.

He crawled in bed with me and we watched two episodes of Burn Notice. And by that I mean he watched two, and I watched most of one and fell asleep, and woke up towards the end of episode two.

All I ate yesterday was freaking animal cookies. I was going to snack on something with him when he got home, but I decided since I was on a roll I'd just get my fasting labs done in the morning.

Yeah, that didn't work out so well. Woke up with Chris this morning and saw him off to work. Went up to my grandparents to steal a ride to the satellite lab, and by the time we get there they closed. We were thirteen minutes late. Fail. Why the hell do labs close so early on a Saturday anyways? You'd think it would be a prime time for people that work M-F to get their shit done, especially since most labs are closed on Sunday too. Irritating.

Money to Burn

Today is a serious lazy day for me. It was one of the rare days that Chris got out of bed before I did. It took much coaxing for him to get me out of bed.

I was not interested in doing the adulting today. I got up though eventually after some prodding from Chris.

Shortly after I got out of bed Chris' Mom stopped by for a visit and to drop off my bridal shower gift. She hurt her shoulder at work and couldn't make the shower. She got me a really pretty sterling silver decorative plate and a gift card for Cracker Barrel that Chris will probably commandeer for pancakes. (Pancakes actually sound pretty good right now, with chocolate and peanut butter chips. Mmm... Ihop.)

Off topic: I rarely partake in peanut butter or peanuts anymore after learning that peanuts aren't the greatest for inflammation and joints. I try not to add insult to injury when I can.

On an amusing note, the card she got me is adorable, and it's also the third time I've received this same card. We had a good laugh over it.

Chris and I gave her the gifts we got for her for helping with the wedding and we all hung out and chatted for a bit. Chris got to show off his learned skill of giving me injections. I think he was a bit proud. Tux is quite a fan of Maggie. (Maggie being Chris' Mom for those of you in the audience that don't know)

My garters for the wedding came in the mail today and they're really pretty. I'm glad they came already. Shipping/turnaround time listed on the website I ordered them from was vexingly long, and I was a bit concerned I would not get it in time, but voila!

We ran out to CVS to pick up my prescriptions so that I can fill my ridiculous pill case for the week. I was out of a few.

In the car on the way to CVS I discovered I had been wearing my shirt backwards all day. Luckily all day hadn't been very long yet at that point, and the only people who could have noticed were Chris and his Mom.

 Our local CVS is remodeling. They switched sides for pickup/drop off at the pharmacy counter. Being the creature of habit I am it throws me off every single time I go in there now. CVS is one of my favorite stores to shop in. I always do well there savings wise. They have a bit of everything and frequently freshen up their inventory with new items. So, we generally mosey around and look at what's new while we're waiting on my scripts. Today they had a GIANT stuffed Minnie and Mickey mouse, for $69.99 each. Crazy. I can't picture ever spending that much money on a stuffed animal, even if I had money to burn.

I can't really picture anyone that goes into CVS having $70 to burn on a stuffed Minnie Mouse. But hey, what do I know? Clearly their marketing department is onto something I'm missing.

We then went to Wendys to get foods because I was starving after last nights cooking fail, didn't much feel like cooking yet again, and my Aunt gave us a gift card for there at my bridal shower.

Chris took a detour to Hamburg Redners on the way to Wendys to get his Java Monster he's very much addicted to. Hamburg Redners just got added onto the list of local places that are sold out of them. Probably solely because of him. Oddly enough, their Coca Cola Machine was standing open, completely empty, with not a vendor in site. I was going to take a picture for your viewing pleasure, but we went out without any electronics. So you'll have to take my word for it. It was strange.

So now we're home gorging on chicken nuggets whilst being guilt tripped by Daisy. I believe she's guilted us out of three so far. It's a nice brisk fall day here so I believe I may attempt roasting the chestnuts that we got at the farmers market later.

Bah.

The meat pie turned out really well. I'm usually not a big fan of the shell, but this one wasn't bad.

The innards were full of chunky potatoes and beef. It had a great flavor with a little help from these guys.

Watching some movies tonight and then doing a bunch of reviews.

Went out to eat and shopping with my grandparents.

I'm really starting to hate not having a job.

My grandparents help me out a great deal. Don't get me wrong; I appreciate every ounce of it.

My grandmother and I have very opposite taste spectrums though, and usually constantly bash on the things that I need. Especially when it comes to clothing and my home. I don't feel it necessary for them to buy something that I am going to replace the second I have enough money to do so.

In example, I need a laundry basket. I want to get one that is going to match the final paint scheme of my bathroom when I can finally remodel it.

Well, my grandmother doesn't like the style I want. She wants to buy something different, even if it is more expensive and I hate it. It blows up into an argument. It's ridiculous and frustrating.

Simply, I miss having my own money.

Being on disability is a nasty spiral of suck. I now make so little money, that my bank charges me a fee just so they'll keep me as a customer.

My insurance costs to stay with the doctors I need are astronomical. Most of them, all but one actually, don't take my welfare insurance so it's rendered useless.

I keep getting ridiculous bills in the mail. The worst part? If you don't pay the bill they won't see you until you do.

When you have a broken hip not being seen isn't exactly an option.

So the little bit of money I do get goes towards insurance, bills my insurance doesn't cover in full, and trying to stay afloat on my utilities.

Welfare gives me an insulting amount of food stamps, $16.

Living on my own is seemingly becoming unrealistic.

But it's a freedom I refuse to give up.

To say I'm frustrated is an understatement.