This Video Made my Day!

This video just made my entire day.

I plan to be this awesome when I'm old.

RACK CITY BITCH!

National Hat Day!

Happy National Hat Day?

We have some silly ass holidays, seriously.

Nonetheless, remember my review of all the fudge like items floating around?

Arbys' has their lava cake half price today with coupon!

I think I shall go get one.

Who cares if I can't eat the whole thing, it's half price anyways!

You want one? Print this coupon.

http://arbys.com/hatday.html

Happy Hat Day! ???

I TOOK A SHOWER!

What a day!

I'm loving this warm weather. Not so much the rainy shit, it makes my hip hurt, but I'll take the warm.

Daisy was looking exceptionally cute as usual.

So, those cute eyes and the warm weather convinced me it was time for another walk! I love taking her for walks. I can't wait for Spring.

She loves posing for pictures, every time I take out my Ipod she's all OMG PICTURE!

See that big yellow fish? I took this picture upstairs at my grandparents. In their tank. Somehow, this fish is now in my tank.

Whenever my Pop Pop buys a fish and he deems it to be an asshole, he tosses it in my tank. Apparently I handle assholes better.

This is my gloating picture, because after days of badgering, Kelly finally admitted I was right about hot tea and honey being an awesome remedy for illness, flu, sore throat, etc.

The big question is whether or not she's actually going to suck it up and use it finally.

It took getting someone to crawl into my bath tub and help me get in. (I have no shame left.) But I finally got a fucking shower for the first time in over five and a half months. Besides the excruciating pain from standing so long, and the ridiculous hives I have from my water allergy going insane from my lack of that much water exposure in ages; it was fucking amazing.

I've never been so happy to take a shower.

Hopefully they can ghetto rig a grab bar in there for me so I don't have to take up random volunteers to get in the bath tub with me.

Education

I saw this today:

At first, mind blown. It might as well have been written in Arabic. After staring at it for a bit though, it was like an epiphany and I got it.

Everyone learns differently. Some people are visual learners, some audible, some hands on. Some are a combination.

In our schools though, knowledge is handed out in a cookie cutter fashion. The same for everyone. This does not work for everyone, and a reason I feel some children fail in our education system. Not because they're dumb, but because they stop trying because it's not presented in a way they can learn.

I've never seen this before in my life, and it's genius. So why haven't I seen it? Because our teachers don't vary from how they're supposed to teach. There's more than one way to do things.

So, I challenge you to try this with a different multiplication problem, take a picture and share it. See if it works for you. If it works for you, it may help your child if he/she is struggling in math.

Borderline Personality Disorder

We all have skeletons in our closet. I don't talk about mine much anymore. I had a really rough life for awhile.

I saw a therapist for a bit after high school and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD.

It was a struggle for a long time, and still sometimes is. I'm genuinely a nice and fabulous person, but sometimes what may seem stupid to some people, flips a giant switch on my temper.

I have abandonment issues, and get upset easily when people "forget" about me.

I over analyze everything.

I go through periods where I'm depressed, irritated with my life, and just want to be left alone.

Other times, I go through periods where I'm optimistic, love everyone, find beauty everywhere, and try to be a social butterfly.

But, it doesn't take much to crash the party. Let downs, let down hard.

I used to self injure, and be suicidal. I stress used to.

When I got out of the situation I was in, and took control of my life, I took control over my BPD as well.

I recognized the "why's" of how I was feeling.

My car accident took away a lot of my control and reversed a great number of things for me. I was on a great path, and it was a giant let down.

Some of you may remember my Christmas cookie melt down. It was a BPD flare.

It's something to learn about, and if you have those feelings know you're not alone. I saw this video tonight and thought it was very well made, and felt inspired to share something very personal because of it in hopes that perhaps it will help someone else.

Application

Almost done with my nine page application for Occupational Rehabilitation Services.

It's pretty obnoxious, but not as hard as I was expecting.

Daisy keeps insisting on proof reading it.

I have to add a list of all my medications still, and they have a very small area to do it in. This should be interesting.

All the boxes I had to check off for my limitations was pretty depressing. It convinced me that if I really wanted to; I could easily pull of going on permanent government disability. That's not the kind of person I am though. Fuck the easy route.

I want a life where I get what I work for. It's what I've done all along and I don't plan on stopping now.

I want to be able to work and save for my dreams and goals; not laze around doing nothing on the governments dime.

I'm really hoping this program pays for school for me so I can get into a career I can physically do.

We Went for a Walk!

Daisy and I went for a walk today. I lasted a little short of a half hour, not bad for varying terrain, bad weather, and wearing off pain meds.

She was so excited to go out! With the snow/ice lately I haven't been able to take her other then potty walks.

We started in the half dead front yard.

Daisy wanted to chase a person.

So, we moved outback where she could chase something she's actually allowed to chew on.

And then we went through the now ice-free parking lot back to the house. I made sure to point out that she looks like Micheal Foxshund with her one pink paw. I may try to do the rest when she's asleep.

My PopPop is a Genius

My Pop Pop figured out some ghetto crazy way to put my shower bench in my bathroom that I can actually seriously get into my bathtub.

He's a freaking genius.

Whenever I have a problem he is always determined to solve it, and 99% of the time does.

Bravo Pop Pop, Bravo.

Guess who's getting their first shower in 5 months tomorrow?

I am so hyped. I'm going to have the most ridiculous rash from the water because I'm not going to want to get out, and I don't even give a shit.

Doomed

Therapy went well today.

My Pop gave me the keys to drive myself. I was supposed to be surprised, but I was to busy trying not to have a panic attack.

I'm not sure if he gave them because he trusts my driving skills, or he's just tired of going with.

I expressed my frustrations of bathing out of a sink for five months, and my confusion as to how/if I could get into my bathtub.

So, we tried the one they had there. Which is about 4-5" shorter than mine, with lots of gadgets and grab bars.

I can't do it. I can't even remotely do it. Nor will I probably ever be able to do it.

The chances of me ever being able to stop bathing out of a sink like a homeless person rely on whether or not my landlord will pay to have my bathroom converted.

I'm pretty sure I'm doomed.

He won't even pay to update his own sisters' bathroom. Her shower is literally falling apart and held together by God knows what.

I'm pretty sure I hit the bathroom lottery in this building, too bad I can't fucking use it.

I'm so desperate, I found out that Microtel will let you rent their handicapped shower for $10. If I had $10 I'd be over there right now. I miss showering. I feel dirty.

My ferrets had fun while I was gone. Those balls are supposed to be in the ball pit last time I checked. Could be wrong.

Moving isn't an option.

A: My rent's cheap.

B: I'm unemployed

C: I put to much work into this place

So, I'm sitting here pretty depressed.

Doggie Pawlish

I got Daisy's nail pawlish in the mail today from Warren London. Great company, neat products at a fair price. I realized after I purchased that they had a buy 2 get 1 free special. I emailed them and they gladly added the third at no charge. Talk about customer service.

At first, Daisy was excited about it. Even stole them from me.

But, when it came to getting them done she wasn't a fan at all. She hated it. I wound up looking like this:

And now she has one paw half ass done that looks like this:

Defeat.

Anyone want to buy some nail pawlish? lol

Popcorn!

Went grocery shopping with my grandparents to spend my $16 in food stamps. They were extra nice and gave me $1 in cash assistance this month. The fuck?

I bought some popcorn, lime tortilla chips, bacon, and poptarts. Hahaha. Well balanced diet indeed.

Took a sitting break in the back of Redners and some creepy guy attempted to hit on me. He was like a Phonz wanna be. Apparently even while crippled I'm still hawt. Good to know.

Wal-Mart has tons of crap on clearance. Emphasis on the crap.

I love talking my grandparents into experiencing new foods. Oven baked fried chicken is a big new deal to them. My diet is lacking variety.

Anyone ever try that cow cheese things they sell in little wrapped balls? I forget what it's called. If you know what I'm talking about is it any good?

I noticed at Wal-Mart they have no plants, hiding places, or decorations in their fish tanks. Probably for cost effectiveness and ease of cleaning. But in reality, especially with aggressive fish, it's a really cruel practice. Jerks. Probably why their fish die so soon after bringing them home most of the time. They're too stressed out.

I came home and popped popcorn for the first time since I've been home from the accident. Daisy was freaking out. She was standing on her hind legs looking into the microwave and growling at it. When she realized what it was when it was done she was ecstatic. She loves popcorn.

Doctors Appointment, etc.

Went to my doctors' today. Was unsurprisingly 45 minutes late. I can't go anywhere with my grandparents and be on time. I seriously need to start telling them that my appointment is an hour beforehand.

Doctor said absolutely no way to the shoe lift, so I had to cancel that appointment. He said it would just make things worse. Apparently my main limp problem is he had to cut some muscle that's responsible for your balance.

He said it's going to be about another year and a half until things are slightly back to "normal". He said no way to working, but that December sounded like a good time to go back to school.

In the meantime I'm just supposed to walk as much as I can manage and build my strength back up. Next appointment is in three months.

I had to get 8 bagillion x-rays done. I'm going to glow in the dark soon. At least everything looked good.

I have some misshapen area on my ass that I was hoping was swelling, but it apparently may be scar tissue. Bah. It's going to permanently look like I have extra junk in my trunk.

So, blah. A year and a half is a long freaking time in the grand scheme of things. Especially considering I'm looking at having to replace this sucker in about 9 years.

Some old lady was pushing an even older lady in a wheelchair in the door when I was leaving and couldn't get in. I was like turn it around! It goes smoothly backwards. She's like really? Tried it and it worked. I did my good deed for the day.

In other random news...

I'm sure you've all had that one relationship that you compare all others to. I know I did. That young puppy love where you think you found your soul mate. Cute letters, drawings, laying in a truck watching the stars.

I had an ex where things were to perfect for awhile, then he left for college and it all fell apart. He came back a man-whore. I moved on. But it's easy to think about the before it all fell apart times and compare all else to it. It was great!

We got back in touch awhile back. Went out for late night coffee together like the old days. We chatted online for a few days, and then he disappeared. Found out he had a girlfriend. Apparently not much changed. He messaged me last night at 3am. No thanks, been there done that.

I don't know what Daisy ate while I was gone, but she has horrible gas. She was so excited that I was home. We stopped at Wendys for food, but I couldn't eat much. Probably because I had to pee super bad because now I'm hungry. ahahaha.

I saw an ad that Sheetz has fried pickles, I'm intrigued.