Fawn

I saw this this morning and I can totally relate to it:

Chris says that's giving my grace too much credit, dick.

Five Days!

Today was crazy and zipped by so quick.

I got up and worked on chores. Got a bunch of pictures uploaded to our account on the WedPics app. Chris went out with his brother Clyde to see his new house.

Janelle and Clyde came back with Chris afterwards and hung out at our house for awhile and chatted. They're going to take part in the hand fasting ceremony at our wedding so we were explaining that to them and catching up since it's been awhile. Chris also asked Clyde to be one of his groomsmen. He wanted to ask him months ago but they lost contact for awhile. It's a bit last minute to work out, but at least the groomsmen don't need to know anything too complicated for at the wedding.

Off-Balance

Today's been a busy day. Started it off putting my beef in the crock pot. I used a Hawaiian BBQ sauce, half a can of Pepsi, salt, and pepper. I put it on low for eight hours. I'm hoping it gets good because we've never used this flavor of BBQ before, and when I opened it later to check on it the BBQ smelled questionable. We'll see.

Tux created yet another disastrous mess out of his litter today. On the suggestion of a friend I removed the liner from his litter pan. Hoping that makes a difference. Otherwise I may need to go out and purchase a different style box.

We got our wedding programs back, cut, from my grandmother's brother. They look nice. I'm pretty proud of them. They took me awhile, but saved us some money.

Imaginary Arguments

Today was my neurology appointment. Somehow we overslept and were almost late. Luckily my grandmother called and woke us up at about twenty of ten. My appointment was for ten. I never got dressed so quick. I'm not sure if I turned off the alarm and just don't remember it, or if the batteries are dying on the clock and it never actually beeped.

We got there on time though. My neurologist was running late though as usual. Where his office is positioned it's a decent walk and my ankle was killing me the entire time. Later when I came home I discovered I forgot to take my meds last night before bed. That'll do it. I've been really bad with that lately, especially my blood thinner injections. I need to do better. Chris used to be really good about reminding me which was helpful. I need to set an alarm on my tablet for it or something.

TENS has turned out to be the sadistic boyfriend I never wanted..

So after much conversation and squeezing in at my doctor's office I finally got a TENS unit.

Like most relationships, it was new and I was excited. Oh the possibilities!

Then it showed it's ugly flaws and it became not so fun.

Wires.

I fucking hate wires. They got caught everywhere, tangle, pull, etc. I can't stand it. It makes me see red.

I decided I could try to get past it though. Humans do have one of the larger brains on the planet.

So then comes the blindly in love portion of the relationship. TENS was freaking awesome.

I could actually go up steps fairly normally. Whee!

So I decide to go out exploring and enjoying my new found experiences.

I went shopping with my grandparents.

We're at store four, this is a new broken hip record for me. I'm really starting to think TENS and I can get along.

Then, it happens. The point where everything you believed turns into a giant lie.

The fucking battery died. Much like the chemistry, and my percocet.

We're 10% into a giant Wal-Mart shopping trip and everything shuts down.

I'm about ready to have a sobbing break-up fit in the middle of the produce section.

And it's not just any battery. TENS takes a special kind of charge. There was no hope.

I had to go on without it.

By the time we were 30% through I was limping and whimpering like an injured puppy.

I gave up, and accepted my defeat as gracefully as possible on a Wal-Mart bench.

Bastard.

My grandparents return for me and I have a gleam of hope. Almost home for drugs!

And fail. 100+ customers and two registers. Typical Wal-Mart cliche I know, but I wish I was lying. I really do.

I tried to stand in line with my grandparents, I mean really I'm a quarter their age. The look on my face must have said it all though; my Pop shooshed me to go sit down.

I shamelessly stole a bench seat from an old lady and waited what seemed like ages.

They come back empty handed and proclaim; "Let's just go, we're leaving it!"

I was horrified. The only response I could muster was "Oh hell no! I struggled though this shit and we're not going home empty handed! I don't care if I have to sit on the floor in line."

My grandparents begrudgingly went to go back, when alas more registers opened! Hallelujah! And whatever other religious shit you can come up with.

So now I'm home licking my proverbial wounds and planning an orgy with my dependable friends with benefits; Flexeril, Morphine, and Percocet.

Maybe we'll try again tomorrow, but the trust is lost TENS. It's lost.