War

Well, after a very expensive day I am relaxing in bed. Daisy's curled up under the blankets in my lap. She loves to burrow in them.

I got Daisy a Princess cookie since she's having a rough day.

As well as some new treats.

We also had to stock up on supplies for the weasels, so they don't get stinky.

And since I now know it's not allergies, we stocked back up on Daisy's favorite canned food.

As well as some stuff for her ouchies.

The vet thinks she may have an early onset of ear margin dermatitis. He said he's never seen it that early so he's not positive. It's supposedly common in dachshunds. There's no "known" and "official" cure. So I've waged all out war. I don't want my baby to be uncomfortable.

She's going on a month of antibiotics to kick its' ass with some topical itchy ointment. Plus I'm going to give her a fish oil supplement forever. Hopefully we can get rid of it and keep it gone. Poor baby.

I was going to take her to the groomer today, but we've both had it bad enough. We'll wait for another day.

Overdue-like my bills.

What a ridiculous past few days it's been.

My check was messed up, so I've been flat broke.

I've been taking Daisy for walks around the back field, and doing the treadmill at therapy.

I won a gift basket from Outlooks-Berkshire. It's pretty sweet. I wanted to say perhaps my luck has turned around, but not so much.

Daisy has had weird bumps on her ears. I tried everything I could think of to help her at home for a week. Nothing helped. I had to take her to the vet this morning. This is her watching the birds, she later howled at a cat. The cat has never seen a dog before. I'm pretty sure it was mortified.

The vet thinks she may have an ear related dermatitis, genetic in dachshunds,  but he said he said he's never seen it in such an early stage so he's not sure. He said it was very proactive of me to bring her in.

$100 proactive.

So, I need to start her on antibiotics, if they make a difference, I have to get a months worth. $60 worth.

It can cause their entire ear to become scabby bumps, I don't want her to go through that, so whatever it takes. I also need to get some Vitamin E lotion and fish oil.

When we got home, I accidentally stepped on her paw. Now I feel like a dick. She seems fine, but I'm fawning over her like I accidentally murdered her first born.

My current paycheck was fucked up again. Toppled with the ridiculous vet bill and supplies. I'm broke. I could pay my health insurance thank God, but utilities are not happening. I'm not in a position to get behind. I don't have an income source to catch back up.

Daisy means the world to me though, and I don't want to see her uncomfortable.

I also just remembered, I need to take her to the groomer. I'm beyond broke.

Some days it's really hard to stay positive. My lawyer's going to file suit for both of my cases in about two weeks at least.

I signed up for Netflix's DVD service. I got a free month. So far I really like it. I got my first movies in a day. Talk about fast. Faster then your average mail service for sure. It's beyond simple to send back too. You don't even have to pay postage. They have a ton of selection, and you can get mostly anything in blu-ray.

If anyone's interested in trying it out I can hook you up with a free month.

I also have a 25% off coupon for Coach if anyone wants it.

So far from Netflix DVD I've watched Ted it's a pretty awesome movie, I suggest it if you haven't seen it. If you have, well...

I also watched the Polar Express. It was...odd compared to what I was expecting. I don't know, I didn't really care for it.

Last and maybe least, I watched Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. That movie, I just, don't know. Maybe I was half asleep or something. The whole first half was just...pointless plot filler if you ask me. And the title, I really didn't see where it tied into the movie. I don't suggest putting it on top of your to do list.

**Spoiler Alert: There is no happy ending. **

I got on the floor for the first time. It sucked far more than anticipated, which is a lot.

This Video Made my Day!

This video just made my entire day.

I plan to be this awesome when I'm old.

RACK CITY BITCH!

National Hat Day!

Happy National Hat Day?

We have some silly ass holidays, seriously.

Nonetheless, remember my review of all the fudge like items floating around?

Arbys' has their lava cake half price today with coupon!

I think I shall go get one.

Who cares if I can't eat the whole thing, it's half price anyways!

You want one? Print this coupon.

http://arbys.com/hatday.html

Happy Hat Day! ???

I TOOK A SHOWER!

What a day!

I'm loving this warm weather. Not so much the rainy shit, it makes my hip hurt, but I'll take the warm.

Daisy was looking exceptionally cute as usual.

So, those cute eyes and the warm weather convinced me it was time for another walk! I love taking her for walks. I can't wait for Spring.

She loves posing for pictures, every time I take out my Ipod she's all OMG PICTURE!

See that big yellow fish? I took this picture upstairs at my grandparents. In their tank. Somehow, this fish is now in my tank.

Whenever my Pop Pop buys a fish and he deems it to be an asshole, he tosses it in my tank. Apparently I handle assholes better.

This is my gloating picture, because after days of badgering, Kelly finally admitted I was right about hot tea and honey being an awesome remedy for illness, flu, sore throat, etc.

The big question is whether or not she's actually going to suck it up and use it finally.

It took getting someone to crawl into my bath tub and help me get in. (I have no shame left.) But I finally got a fucking shower for the first time in over five and a half months. Besides the excruciating pain from standing so long, and the ridiculous hives I have from my water allergy going insane from my lack of that much water exposure in ages; it was fucking amazing.

I've never been so happy to take a shower.

Hopefully they can ghetto rig a grab bar in there for me so I don't have to take up random volunteers to get in the bath tub with me.

Education

I saw this today:

At first, mind blown. It might as well have been written in Arabic. After staring at it for a bit though, it was like an epiphany and I got it.

Everyone learns differently. Some people are visual learners, some audible, some hands on. Some are a combination.

In our schools though, knowledge is handed out in a cookie cutter fashion. The same for everyone. This does not work for everyone, and a reason I feel some children fail in our education system. Not because they're dumb, but because they stop trying because it's not presented in a way they can learn.

I've never seen this before in my life, and it's genius. So why haven't I seen it? Because our teachers don't vary from how they're supposed to teach. There's more than one way to do things.

So, I challenge you to try this with a different multiplication problem, take a picture and share it. See if it works for you. If it works for you, it may help your child if he/she is struggling in math.

Borderline Personality Disorder

We all have skeletons in our closet. I don't talk about mine much anymore. I had a really rough life for awhile.

I saw a therapist for a bit after high school and was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. BPD.

It was a struggle for a long time, and still sometimes is. I'm genuinely a nice and fabulous person, but sometimes what may seem stupid to some people, flips a giant switch on my temper.

I have abandonment issues, and get upset easily when people "forget" about me.

I over analyze everything.

I go through periods where I'm depressed, irritated with my life, and just want to be left alone.

Other times, I go through periods where I'm optimistic, love everyone, find beauty everywhere, and try to be a social butterfly.

But, it doesn't take much to crash the party. Let downs, let down hard.

I used to self injure, and be suicidal. I stress used to.

When I got out of the situation I was in, and took control of my life, I took control over my BPD as well.

I recognized the "why's" of how I was feeling.

My car accident took away a lot of my control and reversed a great number of things for me. I was on a great path, and it was a giant let down.

Some of you may remember my Christmas cookie melt down. It was a BPD flare.

It's something to learn about, and if you have those feelings know you're not alone. I saw this video tonight and thought it was very well made, and felt inspired to share something very personal because of it in hopes that perhaps it will help someone else.

Application

Almost done with my nine page application for Occupational Rehabilitation Services.

It's pretty obnoxious, but not as hard as I was expecting.

Daisy keeps insisting on proof reading it.

I have to add a list of all my medications still, and they have a very small area to do it in. This should be interesting.

All the boxes I had to check off for my limitations was pretty depressing. It convinced me that if I really wanted to; I could easily pull of going on permanent government disability. That's not the kind of person I am though. Fuck the easy route.

I want a life where I get what I work for. It's what I've done all along and I don't plan on stopping now.

I want to be able to work and save for my dreams and goals; not laze around doing nothing on the governments dime.

I'm really hoping this program pays for school for me so I can get into a career I can physically do.

We Went for a Walk!

Daisy and I went for a walk today. I lasted a little short of a half hour, not bad for varying terrain, bad weather, and wearing off pain meds.

She was so excited to go out! With the snow/ice lately I haven't been able to take her other then potty walks.

We started in the half dead front yard.

Daisy wanted to chase a person.

So, we moved outback where she could chase something she's actually allowed to chew on.

And then we went through the now ice-free parking lot back to the house. I made sure to point out that she looks like Micheal Foxshund with her one pink paw. I may try to do the rest when she's asleep.

My PopPop is a Genius

My Pop Pop figured out some ghetto crazy way to put my shower bench in my bathroom that I can actually seriously get into my bathtub.

He's a freaking genius.

Whenever I have a problem he is always determined to solve it, and 99% of the time does.

Bravo Pop Pop, Bravo.

Guess who's getting their first shower in 5 months tomorrow?

I am so hyped. I'm going to have the most ridiculous rash from the water because I'm not going to want to get out, and I don't even give a shit.

Doomed

Therapy went well today.

My Pop gave me the keys to drive myself. I was supposed to be surprised, but I was to busy trying not to have a panic attack.

I'm not sure if he gave them because he trusts my driving skills, or he's just tired of going with.

I expressed my frustrations of bathing out of a sink for five months, and my confusion as to how/if I could get into my bathtub.

So, we tried the one they had there. Which is about 4-5" shorter than mine, with lots of gadgets and grab bars.

I can't do it. I can't even remotely do it. Nor will I probably ever be able to do it.

The chances of me ever being able to stop bathing out of a sink like a homeless person rely on whether or not my landlord will pay to have my bathroom converted.

I'm pretty sure I'm doomed.

He won't even pay to update his own sisters' bathroom. Her shower is literally falling apart and held together by God knows what.

I'm pretty sure I hit the bathroom lottery in this building, too bad I can't fucking use it.

I'm so desperate, I found out that Microtel will let you rent their handicapped shower for $10. If I had $10 I'd be over there right now. I miss showering. I feel dirty.

My ferrets had fun while I was gone. Those balls are supposed to be in the ball pit last time I checked. Could be wrong.

Moving isn't an option.

A: My rent's cheap.

B: I'm unemployed

C: I put to much work into this place

So, I'm sitting here pretty depressed.

Doggie Pawlish

I got Daisy's nail pawlish in the mail today from Warren London. Great company, neat products at a fair price. I realized after I purchased that they had a buy 2 get 1 free special. I emailed them and they gladly added the third at no charge. Talk about customer service.

At first, Daisy was excited about it. Even stole them from me.

But, when it came to getting them done she wasn't a fan at all. She hated it. I wound up looking like this:

And now she has one paw half ass done that looks like this:

Defeat.

Anyone want to buy some nail pawlish? lol