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Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Saturday, January 16, 2016

Pulling the Plug

Sometimes people can really surprise you. Today definetely turned into one of those days. There's a lot of people helping Chris and I squeak by right now. Especially my Mom. My health insurance alone costs more than our rent a month. When so much focus goes into simply affording survival, there isn't room left for certain indulgences. Especially not without the guilt of what other thing could be being handled instead. 

I wrote a post yesterday about our visit to Sheetz, and some of the emotions it invoked. I worked there for over six years, my life was vastly different. Including being much more financially secure. I talked about my grief related to mourning that life that's now gone. I also mentioned being sad that I couldn't get a frozen yogurt.

Friday, January 15, 2016

Mourning the Alive

It's no big secret that I've been a little emotional lately. Hormones, multiple sclerosis flaring, pain, and stress are all taking their toll.

We made a run out to the lab to drop off samples, and decided to stop at the rebuilt Sheetz in Shoemakersville on our way home to check it out. Neither of us had been there yet since it reopened.

It's really nice. They have an indoor and outdoor seating area, an awesome soda and milkshake bar, the new MTO is snazzy, and they have a soft-serve icecream and frozen yogurt section with a ton of topping choices.

The increase in steroids has me starving but we're flat broke. I wanted a frozen yogurt bad and had quite the sad that we couldn't get one. Then I noticed a sign bragging about their wage increase and had the realization that if I was still working I'd be making over $50k a year by now.

I can't even afford a damn frozen yogurt to satiate my Prednisone fueled hunger.

Next thing you know, the tears started welling up. It really caught Chris off guard as he was trying to figure out what happened. Trying to explain what was wrong made it that much worse.