Tuxcasso?

I managed some determination to at least get the dishes done last night, and Chris was kind enough to cook dinner. Now of course, it looks like I did no dishes. I got a whole lot of nothing done yesterday. Today seems a bit more promising, but I'm still not back to what I usually do in a day.

Relaxing when I feel like garbage is really hard for me. I feel like I need to tough through it. Show the disease who's boss! All that really does though is make me feel like garbage for even longer.When I just rest though I wind up getting anxious about all the things that aren't getting done that are going to pile up into a monstrous disaster. 

Chris is really great about helping me with things that I need done. When it comes to regular chores though he's the King of 'It can wait till later'. He doesn't understand how the piling recycling, dishes, and laundry lying about cause me anxiety. Things are easier for me to accomplish in small doses. Mountains of shit to do all at once make me sad. So as I watch them turn into mountains it makes me anxious.

But I'm trying to let it go until I feel back to normal. Trying.

Possibilities

So, I never did figure anything out to eat last night. In fact, I still haven't. Chris ate the other half of his cheese steak we got the night before. I didn't feel like cooking for just myself that late anymore, and couldn't think of anything easy.

I woke up at like 4am starving and remembered we got burritos the other day that we never wound up eating with our potato skins. What the hell, I thought, and went out to make one. I discovered like a moron I got myself hot burritos. I don't do super spicy stuff. Mild spice, sure. Super hot stuff gives me the hiccups for hours though. Fuck that.

Damn my lack of observation to hell.

I went back to bed defeated.

I've since been up for a few hours doing things around the house. Chris is still sleeping. I still haven't eaten, I really need to do that.