The Never Ending 'Flu'

Ever lay awake in bed with a thought so poignant it just begs to be written down? That's what this blog post is.

The weather has been insane here lately. It's been an unseasonably warm winter. Thunderstorms when there should be snowstorms. It goes from near 80 degrees one day, to 40 the next. 

As a result everyone's getting sick. Acute illnesses are no fun, and it's damn near expected to be down and out from them. Most people hide in bed, or gravitate to an area most comfortable. Stay in comfortable clothing, eat comfort foods, and skip out on any current responsibilities. It's not only tolerated by others, it's expected and encouraged. Why? Because being sick sucks. You want to be as comfortable as possible, and do as little as possible. Anything to ease the discomfort. Anything to speed recovery.

Now, imagine waking up sick one day with the flu, and never getting better. The type of flu you have has no cure. Not only will you not get better, but with time you're just going to get worse. There's no simple cold & flu pill to take that handles it all. No, you have to take a pill for each symptom seperately. Sore throat, stuffy nose, cough, aches. Each one requiring a different medication, each medication coming with its own risky side effects. They tell you you can go to the hospital to get IV medication once a month that will slow down how fast it gets worse by a bit, but that medicine comes with its own risks including death. Also, the medicine is exorbitantly expensive, so unless you're a millionaire you'll need to wait to get it until you can get some corporate entity to agree to give you financial assistance. Forget just going to pick it up at the pharmacy tomorrow. 

I'm sure you'd be thinking something along the lines of 'What the fuck? How did I get this flu? How is there no decent or affordable medicine for this shit?' Loved ones would slowly become intolerant of your comfort-seeking. Why aren't you better by now? They've been sick before, they didn't hide in bed for this long. I mean Jesus, you have responsibilities. People are understanding of the ill for about a week, after which point their understanding is slowly replaced by contempt and disbelief. It's just how we're wired. We generally can't relate to something we've never experienced. You're forced to attempt the daily grind feeling like you've been put through a grinder yourself.

Sounds like hell right?

That's my life.

My chronic illnesses make me feel like garbage daily on different degrees. There's lots of expensive medication for the symptoms, that come with lots of different side effects. With time, I'm only going to get worse, not better. There's lots of medication to slow down how quickly I get worse, but the kicker is it makes me feel even sicker now, and half of it runs the risk of killing me. A risk I've faced a few times now.

As much as my loved ones and those closest to me may want to understand, it's not easy. It's not easy to understand someone not getting better. You can't hide in bed forever! (As much as you may want to)

Life has to go on. You adjust to life with the 'flu'. You learn what little things make it easier to function and get through the day despite it. You push yourself to live, you push yourself to ignore the discomfort. Some days it's hard to be upbeat and positive. Ever try to be in a good mood with a raging toothache? You just want everything quiet; everyone to leave you alone. The reality is though you can't live like that every day and still live. You have to adjust.

So take it easy on those in your life that are stuck with whatever version of 'flu' they may have that won't go away. I assure you, they're doing the best they can.