MS is a tricky disease. While plenty of sources will tell you that MS is not a fatal diagnosis, it's not without its dangers. I'm a member of multiple support groups and what not for multiple sclerosis online, and it's pretty common place to see about a member passing on or taken too soon. It's generally from what is considered 'complications of the disease'. Treatment gone wrong, infections that can't be treated because of our screwed up immune system, lesions affecting vital processes. Depression leading to suicide. I recently saw a 'taken too soon' post for someone with MS even younger than me. It's easy to see and think 'wow, they must have been really advanced', but the reality is that's almost been me a few times now. The scare with all the blood clots in my lungs could have been really, really, bad.
The medications I take are dangerous. I roll the dice on each new treatment. You learn to try not to think about it too much after awhile, otherwise you'll drive yourself crazy with worry. You can't live if you're constantly afraid of dying. The reality though is that I cheat death around every corner.
I don't like to think about it, but every once in awhile it gets rubbed in your face, and it's a rough reality check.
If my story follows the average statistics for my disease, I would only live to be 54. Add in the further complications of my other chronic illnesses and that number drops further yet.
My story could have been over months ago, before I even got the opportunity to marry the love of my life. While we all have the unfortunate risk of not making it until tomorrow, for those of us with MS the reality is that much more real. So, while I sit here pondering how to satisfy my roid-rage hunger resulting from the latest flare, I'm just grateful that I'm still around to fight. And I hope I get to live until a ripe old age with my husband; we have many adventures left to go on.
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